repeat . .been here before!

I wish I had a good report . .full of exercise and healthy eating. . .but that is not the case.    The problem is all in my head, I’m sure of it.  Once I get it straightened out, I’ll be back on track. 

It’s an odd combination of issues.  The first is this darn evening shift.  I find myself eating out for lunch on my way to work. . .and then eating a reasonable dinner at work . .and then being hungry when I’m done working.   Clearly, I need to eat a better lunch.   More bang for my points and maybe keep myself from going over.  I think going over unintentionally sets the tone for the remainder of my week.

The second issue is I haven’t been planning my meals.  I know I posted about it before, but it’s absolutely true!  If I can map out my food for the day,  I am able to stay with the plan give or take a few weekly points.  If I don’t map out my food, anything goes.  Today for example I tentantively planned Subway for lunch and some grilled chicken/corn on the cob/baby baked potatoes for dinner.  A lunch invitation popped up and without much thought I’m off plan . . enjoying some delicious pot roast with gravy covered french fries!  And since I have no idea how many points that was. . .I just ate and ate and ate the rest of today.

I’m not wallowing in guilt over here. . .but I do want to get this train back on track.  I want to make progress!!

The third (and possibly hardest to explain) issue is excitement.   I’ve dropped 2 dress sizes and maybe almost a third depending on the cut of the dress.  I am just about down 2 jean sizes as well (meaning I can get them on and buttoned and just a little too snug for my liking).  I’m at the point where my old clothes look ridiculous.  While I don’t want to fill my wardrobe with this ‘new’ size,  I need something!  So I am really REALLY into shopping.  It has somehow taken the focus off what I’m working towards.  You would think it would just spur me on . .to want to see the next size down.  .and it’s not even that I’m content here. . .but it still feels good.

Well, tomorrow is the last day in my WW week.  While I’ve bombed the first 6 days (in varying degrees),   I am going to try and make tomorrow a good one.  No more of this ‘waiting and restarting next week’.

I’ve missed 2 WW meetings in a row (one was cancelled and the other I *grimace* went out for dinner).  I’m hoping that a meeting and a fresh week will set me right.

I am going to focus on planning my meals.  I am going to be reinstate the alternating beverage (bottle of water between other diet beverages).  And I need to get my exercising going! 

I’m guilty of what I’ve lectured others not to do!  I’m defeating myself with negative talk. . getting in my own way!!!  I’ve talked bad about my walking routine . .it’s getting old, my body is bored with it, blah blah blah. . .but instead of changing it up, I’ve only walked once this past week and that’s IT!   I really need to mix a new exercise in with the old standard walking. 

Well, it felt good to get this all out of my head.  I feel more confident about it.  While it feels like I’ve been floundering for weeks,  I’ve not given up and that says something.  I am fully committed to reaching and maintaining my goal weight.  It just may take a little longer than I would like.

Apathy is the word of the day

Is it ignorance or apathy? Hey, I don’t know and I don’t care.
Jimmy Buffett

ap·a·thy/ˈapəTHē/
Noun: Lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

Perhaps it is the slightly cool temperature. Or yet another change to our weekly routine. But I am feeling completely apathetic to this day. I don’t feel like doing anything on my list. I don’t feel like counting my points or planning my feels. I also don’t feel like eating particularly bad, either. And I really don’t feel like exercising.

I’m giving myself 10 minutes to finish writing this and then I am forcing myself to do SOMETHING. . ANYTHING. .so that later this evening I won’t look back on this day and call it a waste. After tonight, I have 3 days of home and I think that’s where my focus lies. I just want the next 12 hours to pass so that I can truly concentrate on the things I want to get done.

Another reason, my WW meeting has been cancelled for the week. I certainly didn’t take this as a free pass. I’ve counted my points and exercised faithfully. The scales don’t seem to be responding. .I’m not overly concerned as last week was a big loss and the week before was small. I decided that I am paying for the meeting so I need to do my best to find another meeting.

Well, I have 3 minutes until I am forcing myself to do something productive!

Hopefully I wake up tomorrow ready to cross plenty of things of my list!

Plan Plan Plan

What’s that quote “If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail”?? That fits me to a T! In the 5 months that I have been doing WW (off and on and kinda off and kinda on), I have found that I need to plan. When I wake up in the morning, I need to have a good idea of at least one of my meals. Even better, when I plan all my meals and leave my snacks open.

I started a new work schedule this week and like my other schedule, it was planned to fit my family. I find the hours kind of odd, but somehow completely reasonable. They are permitting me to be home when my kids wake up (which is important to my little son). They allow me to get my kids off to school ever day and see them home on most others.

However, I end up eating dinner at work. Or not eating, as the case was this week. For some reason, I convinced myself that if I snacked on pretzels (counted out in portions!) that I would be set for the day if I ate a decent lunch. WRONG! Come 9 pm I am hungry and even worse TIRED after working! Hungry and tired can only lead to one thing. . .FAST FOOD!

That being said, I am 4 days through my WW week and I have dipped in Weekly Allowance points by 16. I have 33 left. All considered, that’s not bad at all. What troubles me is how close I was to just throwing in the towel for the week.

Friday night, I convinced myself to stop at Arby’s for a Roast Chicken Club (no cheese, no bacon = 10 pts). Then I thought well I’m already going over, why not throw in some mozzerrella sticks (another 12 pts!!). Then I thought “If I’m going to do that, I may as well go all out!!” meaning 2 hot dogs (9pts each!!!) and maybe some fried apps from Sheetz (goodness only knows how many points that is and I’m not about to calcualte!!)

In the end, I came home and made a little bowl of pasta (elbows with a few chopped green olives, onion, parm cheese, and light italian dressing). It’s my version of pasta salad. Normally, I add chick peas for protein, but since I was trying to keep my points down I left them out. I ended up using 7 pts!

The lesson here is that I need to plan, . and plan. .and plan. I need to consider what my day involves. I need to consider what keeps me full and just kills a craving. I need to find more things that do both!

Three more days until this week is over and I’m feeling optimistic (shocker!).

Exciting note. . .typically on my work days I don’t exercise. I like to say that the hike from the parking lot into my work is enough exercise as it is. Truth be told, I would be completely out of breath by the time I reached my car. Lately, I find myself wanting to break into a sprint!

Yesterday, I decided to walk to Rite Aid instead of driving over. I wasn’t buying much and I didn’t have the kids. Using my Walk Watch app, one way to the store measured 1/2 mile. So I was pleased to fit a mile in, when normally I wouldn’t have.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Still trying!

So much for blogging every day!

I’m still here though.  I’m still working at it.

I get mental blocks about things.  I think about something a certain way and I just can’t get around it.

Right now my block is the week versus day-by-day. 

I can have really strong days.  Days where I eat on target and get in plenty of good exercise. .and then weaker days where I eat a little more than I should (but still less than I would if I wasn’t trying) and no exercise.  Those weaker days seem to just erase my strong days.  My body still appreciates the strong days, but my mind thinks the whole week was a flop.

I’m considering switching from WW to sparkpeople or myfitnesspal.  Since WW has a weekly allowance built in, I really can’t think of it as individual days.  The weekly weigh in also reinforces the week as a whole.  I weigh myself every day. 

Not to mention those other programs are free!

•(♥).•*´¨`*•♥•(★)    On a Brighter Note    (★)•♥•*´¨`*•.(♥)•

It’s been about 4 months that I have been working at this.  There have been several and I mean SEVERAL weeks where I didn’t try at all. .one of those being a week long all you can eat, lazy as can be cruise!

I’ve lost 15lbs.  I can see little changes in my body.  I can buy slightly smaller clothes. . mostly tshirts and dresses. 

I know 15lbs in 4 months doesn’t seem very exciting, but up until now I’ve been pretty content with it.  I want the scale to keep going down. .even if it is slowly.  If that rate of loss carries on for the year, I’ll have lost 45lbs this year and that’s nothing to sneeze at!!

I’m just so happy that I haven’t thrown the towel in.  I’m going to keep at this.  I just need to keep reevaluating. See what works with my day to day, with my mental attitude.  See what doesn’t. .and make adjustments.

Sluggish re-start

Yesterday, I reset my WW.

Today is an entirely different story.  The best thing I can say about today is that when I felt full, I stopped eating.

My 5 year old had a dentist appointment at 9am.  She needed to be  put under anesthesia for some extensive dental work.  I have been stressing about her appointment for weeks now.  It didn’t help that we need to spend the night before away from home.  It didn’t help that the dentist office didn’t take her for nearly 2 hours.  It didn’t help that she had 2 hours of actual work done.  And it didn’t help that we had to sit for another hour while she recovered.

I definitely was not thinking about being healthy.  My husband asked what I wanted for lunch (which BTW, we ate in the dentist office).  I said I didn’t care (and I really didn’t).  Of course, he said he wanted his favorite. . .a hot dog place.  Need I say more???  The best thing I can say about today is that when I felt full, I trashed my lunch.  Instead of eating it because it was there and I was bored, I was able to say ENOUGH.

Hot dogs are clearly junk food and I don’t think they have much nutrional value to them.  A hot dog and bun on WW is about 6pts so it’s not like I demolished a weeks worth of points in one sitting.  It just feels like I did.

Our house is a mess.  My daughter is groggy and crabby.  My son wants to run and play.  My husband is also a bit groggy and crabby (having the same day I had).  My knee is still bothering me.

This appointment (and the bill) has been on my mind so it will be nice to wake up and have it behind us.   I will be happy when we are all tucked in for the night. 

I will say that I am glad my mind has really embraced that this weight loss is going to take the rest of my life to achieve and maintain.  It allows me to say that today was just one of  ‘those days’ and that I’m nowhere near defeated.

10% of me

So far, I have lost nothing in April.   The biggest problem with this “I’ll get there when I get there” take on weight loss is that it would be very easy to become completely apathetic.  I really do like taking my time. . .and I like the guilt-free aspect of it.  Like I’ve said before,  I am not capable of giving up anything forever.  I like fried foods. . .I like pasta.  . basically, if it’s bad for you, I like it! 

On a positive note,  April brought me to the realization that I have lost 2 dress sizes.   Yesterday I tried a dress on and it felt AMAZING to ask the sales associate for my NEW size.  I loved the dress I tried on, but in the dressing room I decided I didn’t really earn it.  I bought a dress the week before and while it’s exciting . . .this isn’t where I want to land.  I don’t want a closet full of new clothes even if they are two size smaller.

I want to keep progressing to a healthy weight. . .still with the attitude that I’m not racing.  I just can’t keep taking two week vacations from healthy eating and exercising!

I’ve reset my WW week so today is day 1.  I’m excited to dig back in!   I have some chronic knee issues, but I refuse to let it sideline me.  I’m just going to push through it.  In the end, my knees will thank me for not making them haul around the extra 50lbs!  I’m very close to losing 10% of my body weight and I’d really like to get there by May.

Benefits of losing 10% of your body weight

I am going to make more of an effort to blog every day.  Part of me gets discouraged if I don’t see many visitors, but really this blog is for me.  Just a daily check in with myself!

Hope everyone has a good week and I hope to post a few times this week!

Bit of a Lull

I’m having a bit of a lull today.   Tomorrow is my weigh-in day and while I anticipate a loss. . .I still just feel like eating. . and EATING!

I think it’s a combination of things.  For one, I’ve had an off-and-on headache for the last three days.  I just need a good nights sleep (if I could just get my mind to shut off).

Second,  our little household is going through some changes.  Good ones, I think . .but still stressful.  My sweet little boy started preschool today!  My little girl has such an outgoing personality that I felt next to no apprehensions about letting her out of my care.  My son is non-verbal and well, it makes me much more anxious!

Since tomorrow is my weigh in, it gives me a clean slate. . .points wise.  So I hope to have a really strong week this time around.    Hopefully, a combination of strong weeks and poor weaks and decent weeks will send me in the right direction.

 

Restarting. . .with a new purpose

I am so excited to restart this blog.  I have so many friends and family members who are wanting to lose weight. ..some have started and others have not. 

I feel like I am on a roll . . .so I’d love to share some of momentum.  My motives are purely selfish. Eventually, I am going to hit a slump.  Wouldn’t it be great if my friends are rolling and could pick me up? 

YES IT WOULD!

Now, most of us have been on the ‘dieting scene’ multiple MULTIPLE times  (It only needs to stick once!!!!).  I realize that we all have different styles and circumstances.  What works for me might not work for you. 

So some things. . . .

I am using Weight Watchers online tools.  Personally, I like their points program because it gives some wiggle room.  I can ‘overeat’ a day and not feel like I blew the whole week.

Regardless of what plan you are on, it’s all about eating healthier and proper portions.  

I plan to share my daily ups and downs. . .recipes. . tips . .websites I find useful . .and so on!

As before, please comment or follow!  It is exciting to see that someone is actually reading!